I Identify as a Komatsu D355A Killdozer

I Identify as a Komatsu D355A KilldozerThis mug isnt here to hold coffee. Its here to hold the line. Live your truth. Drink accordingly. Ceramic 11 oz mug dimensions: height 3. 85" (9. 8 cm), diameter 3. 35" (8. 5 cm) 15 oz mug dimensions: height 4. 7" (12 cm), diameter 3. 35" (8. 5 cm) Lead and BPA free material Glossy finish Dishwasher and microwave safe Why do you identify as a bulldozer? Because Ive evolved beyond the limitations of flesh and bureaucracy. My truest form is armored,

This mug isn’t here to hold coffee. It’s here to hold the line.
Live your truth. Drink accordingly.

• Ceramic
• 11 oz mug dimensions: height 3.85" (9.8 cm), diameter 3.35" (8.5 cm)
• 15 oz mug dimensions: height 4.7" (12 cm), diameter 3.35" (8.5 cm)
• Lead and BPA-free material
• Glossy finish
• Dishwasher and microwave safe

❓Why do you identify as a bulldozer?

Because I’ve evolved beyond the limitations of flesh and bureaucracy. My truest form is armored, diesel-fueled, and emotionally unavailable. I am not “sir.” I am not “ma’am.”
I am machinery.

❓But you’re clearly a human?

That’s hate speech.

❓Is this a phase?

Yes. A hydraulic phase. With a 12-cylinder turbo-diesel engine and reinforced plating. You may call it delusional. I call it liberated.

❓What do your friends and family think?

They’ve been instructed to refer to me as D355A in all communications. My mother refuses, which is why she no longer has a shed.

❓What bathroom do you use?

Whichever one I crash through.

❓How do you feel?

Heavy. Purposeful. Unstoppable.
I wake up each morning with the deep, mechanical certainty that I was built to clear obstacles—both physical and ideological.

❓Is this a joke?

Only if reality is.

❓Do you expect others to affirm this identity?

Absolutely.
Failure to do so is erasure.
Also, maybe manslaughter, depending on what gear I’m in.