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Description
RETAIL SIMPS, THEEE – Live On Cool Street - New LPripping loose parts and pieces from rock n roll machines from places like Son House, 60s garage, The Who, Captain Beefheart, Lou Reed, Rocket from the Tombs, Big Boys, Dead Moon, Memphis garage punktin snipping, torquing, and ripping loose parts in jukeboxes and junkyards filled with rusting remnants of the 20th century to stitch and cram it all together and build their rust bucket to make their own brand of racket. Beautiful. winch Live On Cool
ripping loose parts and pieces from rock n roll machines from places like Son House, 60s garage, The Who, Captain Beefheart, Lou Reed, Rocket from the Tombs, Big Boys, Dead Moon, Memphis garage punk…tin-snipping, torquing, and ripping loose parts in jukeboxes and junkyards filled with rusting remnants of the 20th century...to stitch and cram it all together and build their rust bucket to make their own brand of racket. Beautiful. -- winch
"After countless hours of data driven market research it was determined that the wild success of the first Retail Simps album , Reverberant Scratch was 82.6% due to the cheeky and iconic album cover, as such the group was faced with a dilemma. Using focus groups funded by the Center for Odd Human Behaviour (COHB), the group surmised that the man pictured on said cover, none other than Montreal born chanteur Joe Chamandi, reminded the typical unsophisticated commoner of their ner’e do well uncle, and it is this sense of uncanny familiarity that drove people to purchase the record.
Upon first needle drop it was revealed to house an abhorrent and obfuscatingly decrepit take on roots rock. Armed with this keen analytical knowledge, the band and their creative team harnessed the boundless marketability of the Trashmen, Dancing Cigarettes and 2 Live Crew to adorn their new disc with an equally palatable and deceptive frontal armour, provoking the straight laced garage rocker of yore to pay the price of entry. Once the branding and visual identity of this little package invited potential listeners in, they were met with incorrigible confusion. You see, after being pigeonholed by the punk paparazzi as a lowly party band, the Simps were tasked with driving home their knack for fervent versatility. This new record captures a group, in the clutches of maturity, boasting their emotional depth, triumphant chops and humble servitude to the trade of rock n roll clowning. Recalling the double speak of VU’s murder mystery, the soul bent lament of Fred Cole and the bastardized funk of Minutemen, the Simps have thusly widened their sonic palate and created yet another masterpiece of the modern age. This is the southern soul of Memphian tradesmen flipped on it’s snowy head, conjuring an impure regionalism that was largely thought to be dead and gone. An alternate kind of Northern Soul with a frosty Arctic sheen. More spazzed out guitar, more howling lunacy, more heat of the moment, turnt poetry and outside the box-isms. “The Simpies have done it again!” Proclaim the industrial-indie-music-complex! Bolstered by the angelic croon of theee Simpettes and the honking heart-wrench of theee Horny Boys, Theee Retail Simpletones bring you this 82.5 % Total Punk din!
Out soon on TOTAL PUNK RECORDS
Upon first needle drop it was revealed to house an abhorrent and obfuscatingly decrepit take on roots rock. Armed with this keen analytical knowledge, the band and their creative team harnessed the boundless marketability of the Trashmen, Dancing Cigarettes and 2 Live Crew to adorn their new disc with an equally palatable and deceptive frontal armour, provoking the straight laced garage rocker of yore to pay the price of entry. Once the branding and visual identity of this little package invited potential listeners in, they were met with incorrigible confusion. You see, after being pigeonholed by the punk paparazzi as a lowly party band, the Simps were tasked with driving home their knack for fervent versatility. This new record captures a group, in the clutches of maturity, boasting their emotional depth, triumphant chops and humble servitude to the trade of rock n roll clowning. Recalling the double speak of VU’s murder mystery, the soul bent lament of Fred Cole and the bastardized funk of Minutemen, the Simps have thusly widened their sonic palate and created yet another masterpiece of the modern age. This is the southern soul of Memphian tradesmen flipped on it’s snowy head, conjuring an impure regionalism that was largely thought to be dead and gone. An alternate kind of Northern Soul with a frosty Arctic sheen. More spazzed out guitar, more howling lunacy, more heat of the moment, turnt poetry and outside the box-isms. “The Simpies have done it again!” Proclaim the industrial-indie-music-complex! Bolstered by the angelic croon of theee Simpettes and the honking heart-wrench of theee Horny Boys, Theee Retail Simpletones bring you this 82.5 % Total Punk din!
Out soon on TOTAL PUNK RECORDS
credits
released September 1, 2023
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4.8 ★★★★★
Based on 26 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Best toy around
Color: Hare - Large
If you have the type of dog that can chew anything up but a bowling ball this is the toy for you my dog has been chewing on it and can't even tear it she loves it she won't let go of it and we're working on 45 minutes this toy is great and I'm going to buy other ones thank you
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Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Best toys!
Color: Monsieur Acorn - Large
BEST TOYS!!! My dogs LOVE THESE!!! The bonus toy inside is SOOO FUN!!
Last ms them a long time.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 25, 2026
★★★★★ 4
Excellent, But Not Strong Enough
Color: Monsieur Acorn - Large
This has become the most engaged my dog has ever been with a toy. He chewed these acorns for an hour and a half STRAIGHT. Sadly, he was able to shred both acorns by this time.
For dogs with a normal chewing and shredding amount, this toy would be perfect. However, for a super chewer like our dog (Lab/Malamute), it seems like we're going to need something stronger...
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Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2025
★★★★★ 5
A favorite for my small destroyers
Color: Monsieur Acorn - Large, Color: Monsieur Acorn - Large
My small destroyer dogs LOVE these toys and are always surprised to find another toy after the first and second violent de-stuffing. Definitely a supervision toy for safety, but my terriers love doing their thing when these come out and they last much longer than I had anticipated. Color, design and value all as described, however I literally do not remember if it did squeak because the squeaker would be the first thing gone
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Reviewed in the United States on March 25, 2026
★★★★★ 1
Doesn’t hold up at all.
Color: Hare - Large, Color: Hare - Large
Received this today, and it lasted less than an hour before it had to be taken away to prevent it being eaten.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2026