SKU: 3442768394

If Only I'd Known!

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Description

If Only I'd Known!There is also an ebook version available of this title, it is for sale from Amazon or your usual provider. This book follows on from 'It Wasn't Me Sir' as Bernard Carter leaves school and tries to become an adult. With hilarious consequences. Being grown up is a real pain! He has to clean his teeth, wash daily and change his underpants more often. Get drunk, have sex, get married, become a student. Acquire a dipstick dog, a Lambretta, a death wish and

There is also an ebook version available of this title, it is for sale from Amazon or your usual provider. 

This book follows on from 'It Wasn't Me Sir' as Bernard Carter leaves school and tries to become an adult. With hilarious consequences. Being grown up is a real pain!

He has to clean his teeth, wash daily and change his underpants more often. Get drunk, have sex, get married, become a student. Acquire a ‘dipstick’ dog, a Lambretta, a death wish and a job with egg-bound scientists.

At work he is forced to buy cream cakes for people he does not like; he tries, and fails to get off with the tea girl, but he does have better success drinking, getting drunk and holding up the last bus to Heanor.

First-time sex was a disaster, not helped by a snuffling dog and a mean-spirited barber. He does get a wife and she gets Jumbo the canine equivalent of the village idiot! His aged father-in-law also gives him sex advice in an unintelligible dialect,

He also starts a caving club, gets stuck in a hole with a dysenteric dog; and sees pictures of his neighbour’s naked wife. These and many more stories will keep you entertained and laughing out loud.

About the Author

Born and educated in Derby, Bernard Carter left the area after gaining a Diploma in Creative Photography at the College of Art.

After a short, but successful career in photography he became a self-taught Botanical Artist and Illustrator and still exhibits on behalf of the Royal Horticultural Society as a Gold Medallist.

Bernard has moved constantly around the UK and is well travelled having a particular love for the remoter parts of Australia. He presently lives in Miller’s Dale, Derbyshire.

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SKU: 3442768394

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Raquel
Birmingham, US
★★★★★ 5
My dog loves it!
Style: Ball, Size: Medium (Pack of 1)
This crunch ball was a Christmas gift for my 65lbs fur baby. It’s now mid April and he still loves it. He loves running after it and chomping down on it. It is still in good shape despite all the chomping it’s gotta . I highly recommend. He goes back to this toy agin and again! Great buy.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 15, 2026
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HalfTrac
Waukegan, US
★★★★★ 5
Our first babies favorite and longest lasting ball yet and he is fixing to be 7.
Style: Ball, Size: Medium (Pack of 2), Style: Ball, Size: Medium (Pack of 2)
Toughest ball we have found yet. Our doberman loves Chuckit! Balls especially the crunch one. He spreads all the balls and toys we have bought but these lasted the longest. The crunch and the glow in the dark are usually his pick but he has several different choices.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 24, 2026
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Gus
West Palm Beach, US
★★★★★ 5
Heavy chewer approved.
Style: Ball, Size: Medium (Pack of 1)
My pomsky will destroy a toy in minutes. Ropes, and the "indestructible" nylon type stuffs are no match for my furry shark. This ball has stood up to him like David. He loves the crunch and it is so much more tolerable than a squeaker. These will be a staple in his toy box - Chuckit toys are really the most durable dog toys I have found in three years.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 26, 2026
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Gold Coast
New York, US
★★★★★ 5
Fun Ball
Style: Ball, Size: Medium (Pack of 2)
Great new ball for our pup. He loves the sound of the crunch!
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Reviewed in the United States on May 25, 2026
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Cheryl
Pawtucket, US
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Durability
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My dog loves these balls!
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Reviewed in the United States on May 25, 2026

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