SKU: 18616389764

Stop Reacting and Start Responding: 108 Ways to Transform Behavior into Learning Moments

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Stop Reacting and Start Responding: 108 Ways to Transform Behavior into Learning MomentsDo you react and yell when misbehavior you thought had been resolved shows up again? Learn two parenting beliefs about misbehavior that cause you to think your toddler or child is disobeying you. See how your child truly views things so you can be calm and firm instead. See pgs. 17 and 49. Does fibbing, lying, or not owning up to something make you angry and create conflict? Help ensure your child has the opportunity to be honest and take

- Do you react and yell when misbehavior you thought had been resolved shows up again? Learn two parenting beliefs about misbehavior that cause you to think your toddler or child is disobeying you. See how your child truly views things so you can be calm and firm instead. See pgs. 17 and 49.

- Does fibbing, lying, or not owning up to something make you angry and create conflict? Help ensure your child has the opportunity to be honest and take responsibility for his actions by handling lies using the method on pg. 19 during early childhood and the school-age years.

- Do you feel disrespected when you hear an insincere "Sooorrrreeee?" There is a unique and powerful way to apologize that creates a respectful "I'm sorry," calms intense emotions, reconnects those involved, and truly makes amends. See pg. 65

Stop Reacting and Start Responding: 108 Ways to Transform Behavior into Learning Moments illustrates through examples from daily life the unique partnership that exists between parent and child when correcting behavior. The book shares non-yelling yet firm ways to respond instead of react to achieve better behavior from children ages 2-10.

Each tip the author includes acknowledges the long-range point of view regarding conflict resolution showing that how you address the intense emotions of early childhood and school-age children not only impacts your child now, it also determines whether or not your child becomes independent, respectful, responsible and capable of succeeding in the world.

The book's design is structured as a resource for parents; no chapter is longer than 2 pages and has a reference path to solutions at the end of the section to use in the middle of misbehavior corrections.

"Concepts are fine and good, but providing actual words we can use-That's pure parenting gold. I highly recommend Stop Reacting and Start Responding." -Teri Cettina, contributing editor, Parenting magazine

"Sharon really does seem to see the entire relationship between parent and child in our interactions in a way that most authors and experts don't. I think my entire parenting experience would have been easier if I'd known about her work when my older one was younger." -Moxie, AskMoxie.org

"A glorious collection of parenting tips that moms can use to help them raise good and caring kids." -Michele Borba, Ed.D., author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries

"It can be difficult to navigate the differing opinions of experts in this digital age, but Sharon simplifies developmental concepts and provides parents with actionable advice to raise healthy, ethical, competent kids in a flash."-Dr. Lynne Kenney, PsyD, Pediatric Psychologist author of The Family Coach Method



Binding Type: Paperback
Publisher: Proactive Parenting
Published: 12/01/2016
ISBN: 9780983156154
Pages: 236
Weight: 0.61lbs
Size: 8.50h x 5.50w x 0.50d
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SKU: 18616389764

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4.7 ★★★★★
Based on 1448 reviews
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M
Verified Purchase
Mark D Worthen PsyD
Phoenix, US
★★★★★ 5
Highly Recommended
Format: Paperback
Superb book that eased my parental anxieties and has proven very helpful to my college-applicant daughter. Even though it was published in 2011, it is *not* dated (something I worried about). Sure, it will probably need an update by 2020 or so, but most of the info is not very time-sensitive to begin with.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 5, 2017
P
Verified Purchase
PS
Louisville, US
★★★★★ 3
Good place to start
Format: Paperback
I am an independent college adviser based in California and I recommend this book to my clients but only at the very beginning of the process (mostly to the parents of rising high school freshmen and sophomores). This book is a good place to start especially for many of the foreign educated or immigrant families, who are new to the US College Admission process. The parents do tell us that the book loses its effectiveness once they gain knowledge of the process and/or they begin working one-on-one with an independent and/or become more conscious about meeting the high school counselors early in the process. I personally like the fact that once this book is overviewed by the families, we can spend more time addressing specific concerns and giving more customized advice. As a result we only need quarterly meetings and these meetings are extremely targeted. The problem with this book though is it reads like a huge information session by colleges. Those of you who have attended some of the information sessions will know what I mean. The insights provided by the deans and admission officers of various colleges sound somewhat like a "sales pitch" at times and at other times are misleading. I also recommend my students to keep their knowledge up to date by referring to various free resources such as Nancy Griesemer's educational articles in Washington Examiner Online, or the Choice Blog. I spend considerable time volunteering my services at a high school in a mixed/low income neighborhoods; I wish the price had been more reasonable considering that this is a basic book. Lastly as members of NACAC (National Association of College Admission Counseling), all of us in the admissions field (College Admission Officers, High School Counselors, and Independent Counselors) subscribe to certain codes of ethics and one of the Statements of Good Practice says this about Fairness and Equity: We believe our members have a responsibility to treat one another and students in a fundamentally fair and equitable manner. Unfortunately, Ms. Mamlet and Ms. VanDeVelde do a great disservice by being disrespectful to a large community of Independent College Advisers, many of whom are needed when the high school counselors are juggling with case loads of 200-300 students each and are unable to keep up with the changing scene of college admissions (either due to the lack of funding or time). Gone are the days when people went to some "quack-independents" who promised admissions to Ivy Leagues--sure there are some of those but if families are careful in their research, they will soon find out that these Independents do not belong to any authentic professional organizations such as the NACAC, HECA or IECA. Most students who come to the authentic professionals are motivated to find their right fit college, explore their own strengths and weaknesses and find the best match for their talents, interests and financial situation. Most independents offer services that are reasonably priced. If Ms. Mamlet and VanDeVelde show more commitment to researching folks on the other side of the spectrum, I am sure that their book will be more enlightening.
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Reviewed in the United States on August 18, 2013
A
Verified Purchase
AGB
Omaha, US
★★★★★ 5
Best College Info Book Ever!
Format: Paperback
I have read dozens of college-related books in the past 4 years, and this one ranks the highest by far. Written by industry experts and the authors got a lot of top talent to contribute. Full of real-life advice and useful information that is actually true (I fact-checked this against some other info). I read parts of it out loud to my junior on the plane en route to a college tour, and she actually listened! Humor is always appreciated, and these authors use it without going overboard. Great information, well-presented. A must-read!
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Reviewed in the United States on February 22, 2013
B
Verified Purchase
B. Jones
San Leandro, US
★★★★★ 5
A Must-Read for College (and Even High School) Students
Format: Paperback
First of all, this book really cuts to the point. If you are skilled with skim-reading, you can get this book in about 2 1/2 to 3 hours. Second, while these strategies are currently untested by me, they seem really practical. Rather than saying "study" or "write paper" or "take test", Dr. Newport lays down specific, useable guidelines for all areas that are intended to cut down on time spent on schoolwork. This helps you with more time to have fun, do extracurricular activities, or work 60 hours a week (like I will soon be doing). Third, this is THE anti-procrastination book, although I don't get the concept of starting term papers a month before they're due as the examples did. The whole concept behind this book is making sure you've got as little work going as possible that takes as little time as possible. Doing things upfront will ease your load later when the assignments and papers start rolling in and out. There are only a couple of issues I have with the book. 1) Dr. Newport almost makes the use of personal laptops compulsory in college. I get why it would be such an asset, but for some of us it is more of a liability than an asset. I really believe one can get through college without a laptop at a much smaller personal expense than the costs of buying a laptop/accessories, printer, ink, etc. If you already bought one, that's one thing, but if you haven't, why do you need one? Just use pen/paper and the computer labs' computers and printers. With the printers, odds are you're paying the same amount for 1000 pages that you would for toner (paper is free with the way they price it), and you don't have to drop the cost upfront, but pay as you need the printer. Financially, you're better off skipping the personal printer. 2) He didn't discuss what format to purchase textbooks, but considering he was so insistent on portability, I would probably haphazard a guess that a hard copy is the only way to go. Sure it may be expensive, but what if your Kindle or iPad gets stolen? Overall, highly, highly recommended. Get this for your child as an early (or very early) graduation present. Teaching them these things will save them a lot of headaches later on. One last note: This book is not for the lazy. If you aren't willing to do the work, don't expect this book to help. However, if you're someone like me who's sick of lazy and wants to convert, this book IS for you!
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Reviewed in the United States on December 18, 2012
R
Verified Purchase
Ricky Luis
Lexington, US
★★★★★ 5
One more crappy college study guide
Format: Paperback
When I was taking 4 classes at my local community college, I tried to follow the part of the book that said just to learn math by examples. I ended having to drop the class because at first I was actually ahead of the professor. Then I tried this stupid book's technique of learning by examples and I ended up falling behind. The same can be said of "What smart students know" it's actually a good technique (smart students), but you end up spending hours thinking up questions. Questions can be a part of the process, but it can't be the whole process. I just bought an online course than is way better than both of these combined. It's so good. The point I'm at in the course you can memorize up to 50 items in reverse and forward. You can also tell which place in the list. An example could be The order of my hallway: Dog = front door Cat = wall Duck = light switch Printer = holder Hitler = chair MAO = rug Goku = ceiling light Kurrin = mirror Gohan = heater Frieza = painting You would then connect / visualize each word / picture with a part of your house. The rule is to visualize each for only 6 seconds while recalling can only take 6 seconds. If you miss one you have to do the six second process again until you make no mistakes. P.S. I'm not telling anyone the name of the course or where to buy it. I want to be ahead of all other students. Edit: I'm back in college taking two college level courses. While I don't agree with everything in this book (I have to re-read it) I agree with 80-85% of the methods used in this book that I remember. Such as not doing the reading he was right. I haven't done the reading in my psychology 101 class and have only focused on taking / memorizing / learning the notes and while I haven't gotten a grade yet, I actually feel I'm learning enough and today in class I note notes from a documentary we watched. The professor said to do the reading for chapter 2 of the textbook. I'm not even going to do it. I'm going to just take notes in class then go over the reading. I did this for my 1st set of notes and I didn't understand something in the lecture notes. I ended up re-reading that / part / example [it was on the scientific method]. I remember from taking my developmental math class that the professor was actually doing examples (even though I couldn't figure out from what part of the book they were from and / or I couldn't write every example like he said) If I had just asked questions and either watched videos on Youtube I would've probably remembered the material from that class. I'll do another edit once I'm done with classes. I'm also going to write / provide a list of books that I think are good for learning and have good advice for college. Edit: I ended up trying to do the advice from this book and if I didn't look up the answers for the test for my psychology class I wouldn't be in college today. I'm not saying that all of this book is bad but I went from thinking that 85% of it is good to now thinking that 50% of this book is good. The other half is crap. Such as the technique for Q/E/C he doesn't give any examples or enough examples. The other advice like making your own problem sets I wouldn't have thought of. Even though this is an all right technique your wasting time because you can just practice doing other peoples problems (like those online or from a professor) or do Bullet point concept from another book I read (I'm going to provide a list once I'm done with this review). The one technique that is very good is the lecture technique he mentions in the book. For some reason, this technique helps with putting material into memory. His section on writing papers is also very good. His explanation on how to prepare for and take exams is also good. Also, he should have made the book more visual and put actual writing from actual students other than that it's an all right book. Here's the list of books I've read (so far) that will most likely get you A's College Rules https://www.amazon.com/College-Rules-4th-Survive-Succeed/dp/1607748525/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1530133408&sr=1-1&keywords=college+rules Guaranteed 4.0 https://www.amazon.com/Guaranteed-Follow-3-Step-Plan-Dont/dp/0974264806/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1530134451&sr=1-1&keywords=guranteed+4.0 How to study in college https://www.amazon.com/How-Study-College-Walter-Pauk/dp/1133960782/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1530134633&sr=1-4&keywords=how+to+study+in+college The only book I've read from cover to cover is GT 4.0 it's probably the best in my opinion because the system in this book will get you A's. The only reason last semester I didn't get A's was because I didn't follow the system to the t. If you follow the GT 4.0 system to a t and don't get all A's she'll give you $100. Hope this helps. Edit 2020: From what I remember reading this book, this applies to college level courses and even at the same time I tried using his question / evidence technique while taking a psy101 class and couldn't do it. Also he's right to a very large degree about living off of lecture notes. Living off of the lecture notes IMHO can only be done if it's a science science class or a college level math class. I'm currently taking a pre-req class and the professor explains everything. Along with the Guaranteed 4.0 technique this is a pretty decent book.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2012

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